Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! It's Knight Hardy, here on a mission to ensure that every work on YWS has at least two reviews. You will probably never see this but oh well Imma do it anyway.
First Impression: This is really funny. I love the humor that you've brought into this. The description here is also great..you really get a good mental snapshot of that gruesome image. As a first chapter this does hook in you in pretty well too thinking of this murder and why it happened.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Thomas Pippin stared at the sight utterly disgusted. It made his stomach churn just thinking about it. In front of him lay the mangled body of Ms. Molly Shippen and he had to explain to Inspector Traverton what he thought had happened. The prospect was just comparingly better than looking at the wretched body of Ms. Shippen, or what was left of her, for that matter. She had been killed almost instantly by the two gashes that sliced her windpipe, but this killer was clearly nuts for he had not stopped there but slashed her from thigh to navel, almost disembowling the poor wretch. All made by the same man, one with a formidable right, he could tell by the angle and density of the wounds and by what he suspected looked something like a kitchen knife. Other things made Thomas think this killer was clearly wacked and should have been placed in a wackateria was the position in which they found her, face up in a corner of her own stone patio, skirts hitched up passed her knees and knickers disoriented.
This is funny and completely horrifying at the same time. A really good combination for an opening paragraph so good on you.
"So what do we have here? Ah thee lovely Ms. Shippen."
Okay the inspector is definitely slightly crazy or has seen way too many bodies in his life.
"Look at her; the way he first pressed her, killed her, and then multalated her. I'd say he's clearly nuts. This ain't no ordinary murder, Inspector." Thomas said laying on his thick glasgowegian accent.
"I guess I'll take that," the Inspector said looking a little bit miffed.
Wow...this guy is definitely off his rocker.
"Kitchen knife, because ye see here," Thomas pointed at the gash along her stomach, "the wound is deep, wide, and has a curve to it. Throwin knives or killin knives or blades have no curve in them, they're made that way, Heinvessens, Golds, Holts, Kieners, Ritchers, Perrys, every last one of em, all made with the same basic rule no curve. It make it hard to throw or grab. A kitchen knife, you've seen one of those, right Inspector, are made with a long, large blade with a curve to it. The handle is short, the blade long. All these gashes have the same exact pattern, long swiping move with a kitchen knife with the right arm. Inspector, this poor wretch was killed by a kitchen knife. Now if ye excuse me, I'll go see to me more important business." Thomas spat at the Inspector, throwing away dignity.
This parts really good. It gives us some nice insight into Thomas' character and we know that he's knowledgeable on these things. So that's a great thing to have in a first chapter.
Aaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: This was a pretty entertaining opening chapter. Thomas' character is the type that tends to instantly draw you into a story even if the plot is inconsistent. And the descriptions were also good as I said earlier.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
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